My Husband, My Friend

After a weekend of relaxing and just enjoying family, I am reflecting on what it is like to be married to your friend.

When we first met, I was on the tail end of my Senior year of High School and he was in his Junior year.  At that age there was never a single thought of dating a younger boy.  He on the other hand had already told his friends that he had met the woman he would marry one day.  We spent a few years as friends and co-workers, both dating other people.  Our first date was almost exactly three years before we were married.  One of our favorite dates was to just drive on the old dirt roads looking for deer.  As we drove, we talked of our lives, our dreams and got to know each other bit by bit.

Today, we have so much shared history that we do not have to explain ourselves to each other.  We know the little quirks that each of us have and their is still love there.  It is not the same as it was when we first started dating but it is a good love that I know will always be there.

The Work in Marriage

More and more I hear of failed marriages.  There are many different reasons that are given for these failed relationships.  Sometimes there is infidelity, money can be a big issue, sometimes the couple is no longer in love, there may be abuse and the list can go on and on.  I always wonder, especially when the marriage is only a few years or even just months, why do we not work harder to work through our problems.

My husband and I have been married for almost 23 years and we dated for 3 before that.  This is a man that I have spent more than half of my life with.  It has never been easy, sometimes we have both been at the point where we wanted to give up.  I think the only reason we stuck through some of it was that neither of us could see how we could afford to split up and try to fund two households to raise our children.

Now I am happy that we didn't give up on each other.  We worked, we talked, we compromised and even when we didn't "love" each other we respected each other and the different opinions on either side.

I cannot know what everyone else has been through and maybe if I was in their shoes I would have walked away long ago.  But I do know that somethings are worth fighting for and our marriage is one I will keep fighting for.